Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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