I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Randomize
