problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
is that a dick in a sweater?
Randomize
