i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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