Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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