so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
