I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
should my penis look like a turkey
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
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