I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I think I died a long time ago.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
