You did not just play the dead husband card again.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
