Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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