Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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