I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
