Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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