"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
