hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
