Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
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