i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I love you. Go after that dick
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