My pussy is not your playground.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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