PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
