you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
