we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Randomize
