I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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