Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Be still, my beating vagina.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Randomize
