I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
