Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
