the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
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