9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Randomize
