dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Randomize
