there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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