I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Randomize
