i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize
