Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Randomize
