i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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