Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
