from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
