I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
