How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
