im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
