my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
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