it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize