Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
