Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Randomize
