called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Randomize
