a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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