yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Randomize
