I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Randomize
