brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
