once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
