how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
