just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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