my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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