Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Randomize
