Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
My cat gives me a boner
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
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