went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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