I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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