I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
