dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
