Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
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