yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize