You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Randomize
